127786

Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross? A: So it could become a first-aid kit."

"I'd like to tell you a joke about paper... but it's tearable."

"Donald Trump says he went to the University of Pennsylvania, but I could have sworn he went to Syracuse. Because he sure is an Orange Man."

"How many livers do people have? I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay."

"Cleaning out my handbag. Wondering if nine pens are enough."

"/r/jokes pretends that it has more than 1000x as many subscribers as it actually has... as a joke! http://imgur.com/wYy6m"

"I lose bobby pins in my hair. Please don't ask me to babysit your kids."

"What does a Math Professor do when he's constipated? He works it out with a pencil."

"What do you call it when someone has sex with Dwayne Johnson? Rock Climbing. heh."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by some chick."