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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone holds my baby & he makes even a tiny peep, I yell ""WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BABY WHY ARE YOU BURNING MY BABY!?"""

"Interviewer: ""So why should we hire you?"" Me: ""Cause I need a job very badly."" Interviewer: ""So?"" Me: ""And you have a vacancy. BINGO"""

"I went to a camouflage themed party the other day... but I didn't see anybody there."

"What do you call a woman who thinks she has the best rack in the world? [oc] Boobcocky"

"My dog has been chasing people on bikes lately so I had to take away his bike"

"I'm writing a song about getting my front door lock replaced. There's a lovely key change at the end."

"Do you know how many planets are in the solar system? 7, after I destroy Uranus."

"Sometimes I feel like people are just using me for my likes."

"Why couldn't the Mod get into the club? He never got banned."

"What do priests have in common with my dad's BBQs? They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns."