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Joke of the Day

"When he was arrested, the mafioso was intent on not ratting anyone out. But he had ebola, so... ...he spilled his guts to the cops."

"He Who Farts In Church... ...Sits In His Own Pew."

"If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we're fcuked."

"Q: How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: WHAT?"

"Why did team USA get a silver in Men's Diving? Because Steele Johnson always comes second."

"What is a Pokemon's favourite place to go in France? Paras"

"I've just found a mole on my shoulder. I don't know how he got out of the garden but he's cute."

"What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar? Expecto-Patron-On-Ice"

"Do You Like Wendy's? Well you're not gonna like it Wendy's nuts are bouncing off your chin."

"*turns around in chair dramatically* Hello... *chair turns around again* ...I've been expecting you... *again* ..., Repair-Man."