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Joke of the Day

"Nothing makes you like a fat pig more than answering the waitress with hand signals while stuff yur face. ""so how is everything?"""

Next Joke
 
"What kind of foods do arthritic cannibals love to eat? Finger foods..."
"[100 year old man on job interview] ""Do you have any references?"" Sure, hold on. *pulls out Ouija board*"
"My 16yo daughters boyfriend struggled with a capri sun for the last 10 minutes. I think it's ok to leave her alone with him."
"Women have closets full of I have nothing to wear.'"
"Pulled out all of my eyelashes so I can make more wishes. 1st wish: MONEY! 2nd wish: FRIENDS! 3rd wish: eyelashes :("
"People who quit Reddit, what is life like now?"
"Most household injuries are caused by saying ""whatever"" during an argument."
"Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask for directions."
"I have a job for you planting tulips.... ON DIS DICK!"