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Joke of the Day

"I like to shave my pubes... It helps reduce the wind resistance and makes me able to run faster. You haven't seen me on the news yet because I'm too fast."

"FUN BIT OF TRIVIA...The hard-working individuals who discover and preserve ancient pastas and breads are called starchaeologists."

"After having Chinese food, my cookie was missing the piece of paper on the inside! It was unfortunate."

"What did the chick pea say when it got a stomach ache? I falafel."

"Why did the man with no hands go to the doctor? Because he didn't feel well."

"What should a teacher take if he's run down? The number of the car that hit him."

"I'll read a Southern Gothic novel with 1,288-word sentences, I don't give a Faulkner."

"Beauty is in the Eye of the: A) Holder B) Holder C) Holder D) Holder"

"I'm living proof that you should never give up hope. You may find this hard to believe, given my current level of sheer awesomeness, but I was once a pathetic loser like you. Be strong."

"It took Michelle Obama two presidencies to get kids outside... and Nintendo two days."