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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it."

"So my brother tried the old saw about calculus and alcohol not mixing... i.e., don't drink and derive. I said, ""It's true. I tried it and destroyed a bridge."""

"Nothing worse than, after sex, looking down and seeing that limp used Condom hanging off your dick... Particularly when you weren't wearing one when you started."

"My girlfriend broke up with me because of my obsession She said ""I'm sick of it. You actually believe that you're a transformer"". I said ""But baby, I can change"". She said ""There you go again!"""

"I haven't spoken to my wife in weeks... I didn't want to interrupt her."

"The man who invented knock-knock jokes... He deserves a no-bell prize. I'll see myself out, thanks."

"What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can't hear an enzyme."

"Book nerds all be like.. 420 blaze it? More like, 451 BLAZE IT! .... On second thoughts, this is probably why I have no friends"

"How many Libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If it's their lightbulb, none of your damn business."

"Went to a zoo that only had one dog It was a ShitZoo"