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Joke of the Day

"whenever someone says happy birthday.... all I hear is ""Happy anniversary of the day your face rubbed your moms vagina"""

"My relationship status: Waiting for a miracle."

"Arguing with guy at the bar and he claimed Wikipedia was an unreliable source, suggesting instead that I listen to him, a drunk guy at a bar"

"A guy called into work on his last day there and says, ""Hey, boss! What's the difference between work and your daughter?"" ... ""I'm not coming into work this morning."

"How do you get certified as an interior decorator? You don't pull out"

"You can't watch porn on the new iphone They took the jack off."

"What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? Utter destruction! !!!!"

"I was gonna tell a Holocaust joke but I ran out of gas."

"I thought it was you A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, ""You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"""

"This damn hurricane, I would have thought that the country that invented the burrito, could handle a bit of strong wind"