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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a protein that has anger management issues? Amino acid!"

"Ma'am, your son is dead. Why, what happened, officer? He wasn't white and that wasn't right, we found he was black, and that was whack, so we shot him in the back."

"The stock market plunge of 2008 was worse than a divorce... I lost half of everything, but I still have my wife!"

"What do you call a mob of armed lesbians? Militia Etheridge"

"No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch"

"What's the different between a pilot and a pepperoni pizza? I give a shit when my pizza is burnt."

"What do you call a mexican midget? A speck."

"As a german I have to ask: You know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. Our engineering is perfect."

"How do people in the movies dig 6-foot deep graves with a shovel? I got tired digging a hole to plant a bush"

"Beauty is only skin deep ... but ugly goes all the way to the bone!"