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Joke of the Day
"If the only tool you have is a dildo, everything looks like its ready to nail."
Next Joke
"A man was caught peeing in public by a police officer. The cop's only reaction was... ""Urine trouble now."""
"What do you call a personal laptop floating in the ocean? A Dell - Rolling In The Deep"
"Went to the doctors and told him l was suffering from premature ejaculation. He asked how does your wife feel about it? I said she took it on the chin the first time but now its getting on her tits..."
"Instagram is the most pleasant social media site because it's really difficult to take ignorant, racist pictures of dogs & brunch"
"What's the opposite of irony? Wrinkly."
"Welcome to Cupcake Yoga! NomNomaste."
"To whoever stole my thesaurus... To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You're a bad person."
"I asked my North Korean friend how it was to live in North Korea. He said he can't complain."
"*checks pockets for phone 53 times before jumping in pool* *skinny dips to be on the safe side*"