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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend is taking me to a Spanish restaurant for dinner, I'm kind of scared, I don't speak Spanish, how will I know not to order dog"

"Amazing Farmer I met an amazing farmer today, he was out standing in his field.."

"Why did Princess Leia take so long to find her hair brush? She kept looking for it in Alderaan places."

"How Long is a chinaman"

"I bet every time Beyonce leaves a restaurant everyone fights over who gets to smell her chair"

"Did ya' hear about the bear that tried to fly from British Columbia to New York? They wouldn't let him bring his carrion. Sorry."

"Q: Where does a zookeeper hang his laundry? A: On a clothes lion."

"I came home drunk last night and my wife looks at me says ""Drunk Again"" and I said ""Me Too!!"

"Um, guys, whaddya do with a 5 y.o. at an aquarium who's hysterical because she sees Dory in a tank and I kind of need to know right now."

"Cop: Freeze! Suspect: Try and catch me! *dives into Olive Garden's bottomless pasta bowl* Rookie: We gotta go after him! Cop: No. He's gone."