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Joke of the Day

"I was mugged today... I was mugged in an alley today, all they took was my mood ring. I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"Anne Frank showed a cunning and resolve that any Jew would have been proud of. Two years rent free."

"I call my nephews ""Dude"" and ""Homie"" because I'm the cool Aunt! (I don't know their names.)"

"What do you call the total pay from your jobs as a garbageman, a sewage plant worker, and a drug smuggler? Your gross income."

"[aquaman origin story] *falls out of boat* help! im drowni- oh... no, im good, actually"

"My friend told me what the Mile High Club was the other day But honestly, I don't give a flying fuck."

"If really good-looking people are ""eye candy"" I guess that puts me somewhere around the ""eye broccoli"" category."

"[DARK HUMOUR] What do you call a fat baby? Quite a mouthful."

"I was accused of plagiarism... Their words, not mine"

"Blood is thicker than water and a lot harder to clean off the walls."