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Joke of the Day

"I'd say I'm quite good at sex ...but I'm not able to blow my own trumpet"

"Project manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month. Project manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month."

"Dear car commercials, You probably don't mean to scare me but ""German engineering"" is also why I don't have so many cousins today."

"Why does an elephant have four feet? Because six inches isn't going to satisfy a female elephant."

"Why do priests have lots of kids? They always use the holy condoms."

"EXPLORER 1: *looking at ancient symbols in pyramid* It says ""Here lies updog"" EXPLORER 2: What's updog? EGYPTIAN SPIRITS: Lol"

"Did you hear about the two gay guys that got into a fight at the bar? They went out to the parking lot to exchange blows."

"Why does Indiana Jones hate the letters ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWX and Y Because they're not Zs. Sorry."

"The best part about being single is only having to say ""I'm sorry"" to the dog."

"*Friend is sinking in quicksand* Get help before I drown! *I start to run, stop, jog back to friend* Technically you're not drow- NATE!"