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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his arse? Warren"

"Guy in USA:(phone) you ready? Guy in Australia: (phone) hell yeah Both:123 *each drop a piece of bread onto ground* Both: EARTH SANDWICH!"

"Good news: He told me I was his penguin. Bad news: Penguins only have sex once a year."

"A kitchen joke. Why was the cutting board? The knife was really dull"

"I hear there's a sex toy and lingerie shop for chavs. Nissan Summers."

"There are many fish in the sea. So while waiting I'll just play with my rod."

"I'm commonly known to my friends as ""that nutty guy"" Haha, just kidding. Squirrels can't talk."

"For Valentine's Day my GF upped my life insurance policy. Unrelated, anyone know why there's a ticking sound coming from underneath my car?"

"Broccoli is like anal sex. If you didn't like it forced on you as a child you probably won't like it as an adult."

"Why do cows wear bells? ...because their horns don't work."