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Joke of the Day

"Why don't vegans eat chicken? Because it contains egg..."

"Farts are ghosts of things we eat!"

"I have got the best business idea of 2013, I am going to start Facebook rehab centers throughout country."

"How did the witch almost lose her baby? She didn't take it far enough into the woods."

"Wife: I'm hungry! Me: I'll order pizza Wife: YOU THINK I'M FAT! Me: *whispering* Has it been 28 days already? Wife: WHAT?! Me: what what??"

"Oh hey, I see you touched your computer again. -Adobe Updater"

"Anytime I fly over the exact spot a time zone changes, I yell ""88 MILES PER HOUR!!!!"""

"Cheese shop exploded Thankfully I was only hit by da brie"

"[Ouija board] O spirits, let me talk to m- C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I *squints* What the heck? A 3G board?"

"Who the patron saint of surveillance? St Francis of a CCTV."