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Joke of the Day

"Why are so many Germans into scat? Because they appreciate the creativity and artistry of Ella Fitzgerald, and enjoy listening to her music..... while pooping on each other."

"I'm going to name my child Dick.. It rolls straight off the tip of my tongue."

"Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!"

"I'm so single, the variables I declare are double."

"Whats the difference between boobs and batteries? If they're AA, at least batteries have something positive"

"Disney shouldn't have to post warning signs Don't their gators make a ticking sound as they approach?"

"Don't be racist; be like Mario He's an Italian plumber, made by Asians, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, runs like a black man and grabs coins like a jew."

"*nudges widow at funeral* are you thinking Arby's"

"A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""are you aware that there is a wheel in your pants?"" The pirate replies, ""AAARGGHH it's driving me nuts!"""

"whenever a song says put your hands in the air i do it on the spot. i have fun and also an alarming vehicle collision record"