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Joke of the Day
"Did you know that Australians don't ever actually have sex? Because Australians mate..."
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"""...said no one ever,"" said everyone ever."
"So I asked my North Korean frien how is life was going. He said ""can't complain"""
"I put a sock on my doorknob To let people know I'm getting busy with another sock."
"Very tired of the NSA reading my tweets and not retweeting them."
"me: goodnight moon :) moon: night<3 me: goodnight stars :) moon: wtf me: sry wrongnumber moon: whos stars moon: who is stars moon: answer me"
"Why use words you don't understand in your tweets? It just makes you look photosynthesis."
"Who's bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby? Mr. Bigger's baby, because he's just a little Bigger."
"Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was out standing in his field"
"Back in my day when we found a Pokemon we had to beat it to death with a rotary phone"