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Joke of the Day
"Go down a water slide when it isn't wet. And then you'll understand the importance of foreplay."
Next Joke
"You're saying that the two people I don't want for president, one is in poor health? I'm voting for the dying one."
"9: How old was I when I was 3? me *grabs hammer* *smashes college fund jar*"
"LPT: If your phone gets wet, leave it in some rice to fix it. The rice will attract Asians who come and fix your phone. You're welcome."
"*interrupts planning of heist* Where are we going for dinner after the robbery"
"What's the difference between a nurse and a nun? A nun only serves one God."
"I threw a cat in a lake I have finally made a pussy wet."
"Chris Brown only listens to his music.. on his Beats by Dre"
"April Fools Day The one day out of the year where all of reddit becomes /r/nottheonion"
"Just watched Jersey Shore for 5 minutes and now I realize why we have to do things like write ""do not eat"" on dry silica packets"