122990

Joke of the Day

"[as a kid] Can't wait to grow up and make my own decisions! [now] Why did I think this would be fun"

"What does a spider want to be when he grows up? (This is really good guys...brace yourselves..........) A web designer."

"Lost Elephants Zoo Keeper:""I've lost one of my elephants"" Other Zoo Keeper:""Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"" Zoo Keeper:""Don't be silly, he can't read!"""

"The inventor of knock knock jokes should win a no-bell prize."

"Cows... What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef... What do you call a cow with one leg? Lean beef... What do you call a cow with two legs? A Texan..."

"For Christmas my wife wanted something that went from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds. So I bought her a scale."

"Summer was especially good this year in Canada... If I recall correctly it was a friday"

"How do you call a meerkat? C'meerkat."

"I'll grow my beard out just so I can knock on a strangers door & whisper, ""I'm here to pick your kid up for prom. Either one. I don't care."""

"What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian bail"