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Joke of the Day
"Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? She saw the salad dressing."
Next Joke
"I was at the confessional booth the other day and I asked the priest if he thought it would be a good idea to stop masturbating He said ""Sure, If it bothers you, I'll stop""."
"What do you call a 5 year old's knees? Kidneys! Ha! I'll be here all week folks."
"My N'Sync tattoo? I got it to remind me not to make impulsive decisions based on fleeting trends that I'd regret for the rest of my life."
"Sometimes when I'm riding in an uber, I like to request another uber. Instant car chase."
"What did the winner of the not moving contest get? Atrophy"
"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood"
"What do you get when cross-eyed and looking at a solar eclipse? A solar ellipses..."
"A stamp collector walks into a bar... He walks up to the hostess and says, ""You're more beautiful than any stamp in my collection"" She replied, ""Philately will get you nowhere."""
"When you wish upon a star, wish upon Proxima Centari. At 4.2 light years away it's likely to have the best return time."