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Joke of the Day

"You can't blame me for making jokes about the earthquake. It's not my fault."

"[finds sock with hole in it] *gets angry* [puts sock back in same drawer] *repeats forever*"

"Back-to-school tip for parents: while not explicitly forbidden, it is frowned upon to spray champagne on the hood of a departing school bus."

"""Can I see your ID?"" Sure, it's... *lowers sunglasses* *raises them* *lowers them again* ""What are you doing?"" I don't know."

"911 what's the emergency ""Please help, I made too much spaghetti"" Relax sir, we've all been th*spaghetti starts coming out of the phone*"

"[first date] ""What's wrong?"" I don't like the ambulance in this place [sniggering] ""You mean ambience"" [next table] NEE NAW NEE NAW WOOOOOO"

"Who drives away all his customers ? A taxi driver."

"Chinese Food is amazing but I do find it hard to believe that a chicken fried this rice"

"what u call a Bee that lives in America? A USB"

"So many people have the name of their university in their bio. ""Nice to meet you, this is who tricked me out of 50 thousand dollars"""