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Joke of the Day

"don't kid yourself, the pace at which the cursor blinks before a blank space in a document is the actual heartbeat of God"

"There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't"

"What's the difference between a Dominican and a Cuban? Dominicans are close, but no cigar"

"A blind man stands in a store whirling a dog around his head with the leash. A saleswoman asks ""May I help you, sir?"" ""Nah, just looking around."""

"I once met a girl with 12 nipples. Sounds funny, dozen tit?"

"Called my Doctor, in a panic, serious difficulty ""passing"" urine. Turns out, it's just that I drive a shitty mini-van."

"Wife: Let's go outside. 3-year-old: No! The deer will eat me. Wife: Deer don't eat people 3: The zombie ones do Wife: Get your dad. Now."

"There is no ""i"" in ""stupid."""

"Why did the Giraffe lay down in the tall grass? Because it had Leukemia."

"They say there's such a thing as safety in numbers... Tell that to six million Jews."