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Joke of the Day

"My neighbor said ""nice skirt"" so I said, ""thanks, it helps me not blast Miley Cyrus at 6 in the morning, you should borrow it sometime."""

"I asked a hooker to talk dirty to me in Latin. She declined."

"When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing."

"LPT: The best time to stand behind someone is when they are watching something that makes them think it is their imagination."

"Did it hurt when YOU fell from heaven? If so, contact the law offices of Leon Molowitz, and get the monetary compensation you deserve!"

"Hitler killed... six million Jews..."

"Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one."

"Why should honeymoons only last six days? Because seven days makes a hole weak."

"What's Hitlers favorite video game? Space Invaders"

"My 4 year old refused his dinner but it's ok because I caught him eating a Milkbone earlier"