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Joke of the Day

"I want a million followers so I can tweet where I am from anywhere in the world and emergency shit at someone's house."

"why do gorillas have big nostrils? Big fingers!!!"

"Lambs: ""BAAAAAAAAA!!!"" Hannibal Lecter: ""Shhhhhh!"" Lambs: ""Baaaa!"" Hannibal Lecter: ""Shhhh..."" Lambs: ""..."" Hannibal Lecter: ""Much better."""

"you're mama so fat... she broke her leg and gravy poured out."

"After realising that I had accidentally eaten my clone, I shat myself."

"I am a Chinese, and this is what I think about Chinese joke: Hao funny. (Hao means """", which can mean yes, good or very)"

"A significant proportion of public restroom users are assholes. The rest are all either dicks or cunts."

"""Is there a Mr. Fields?"" I say to my twelfth cookie, all the while knowing she's all mine."

"""I'm the world champion of hearing,"" I lied to the girl at the bar. 20 minutes later the real world champion burst in and hit me in the jaw"

"People on this plane got so uptight when I used the bathroom to change into my PJs. Llike they've never seen a man in a nightgown before."