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Joke of the Day

"I know this is an unpopular opinion, but Krusty from The Simpsons is running for president. Bring on the clownvotes."

"I hear Donald Trump has been endorsed by the Roman Catholic Church He's called for a ban on contraception. He wants to make America mate again"

"Coining Money. George Washington: We should put ""We Trust In God"" on our money. Thomas Jefferson: Great idea! Did you get that? Yoda: Yep"

"Remember that time Joe Biden succeeded the previous vice president? That was a dick move."

"What Do You Call a Girl Who Doesn't Do Kegels? A lazy cunt!"

"Heard unemployment was 10%, but I just did a quick poll of everyone at the office, and it seems like that number may be way high."

"Why did the thesaurus have a creeping feeling? He had an antonym."

"Drying out wet fireworks in the oven is not a good idea. Trust me on this"

"What question must always be answered ""Yes""? ""What does Y-E-S spell?"""

"Me: Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu please Waitress [slaps my face]: The men I please, that's none of your business"