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Joke of the Day

"I've only seen Magic Mike, can I see Magic Mike XXL... ...or do I need to see the other 28 in between first?"

"HR: welcome to sexual harassment training. Me *raises hand* I'm gonna leave. HR: it's mandatory. Me: There's nobody here I would harass."

"What do you call a centipede with no legs An amputede"

"What's the difference between Batman's parents and jokes about Batman's parents? Jokes about Batman's parents can get old."

"The grass is always greener, but usually because it's synthetic AstroTurf."

"I can't believe they're still using that guy as a Subway spokesperson! Robert Griffen III is terrible!"

"How much sex do couples have? Newly weds: ""Tri-weekly."" After 10 years: ""Try weekly."" After 30 years, ""Try, weakly."""

"Maths joke: if you have a pizza with radius z and thickness a, it's volume is pizza (or pi*z*z*a)"

"Say at cat 'Im rubbin ur belly' while rubbin belly, 'Im pattin ur head' while pattin head, else never learns anatomy, becomes Texas senator"

"Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one."