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Joke of the Day

"NEW EXPRESSIONS ""Kanye bless you."" ""Kanye damn it!"" ""One nation, under Kanye."" ""Thank Kanye Almighty!"" ""The Kanyefather, Part II"""

"Do you wish you were always broke? Are you tired of having a thriving social life? Is too much sleep boring you? Parenthood. It's for you"

"I tied a rope and swallowed it I shit you knot!"

"My friends all judge me for being a heroin addict... I guess they just don't like strong women"

"Whats a Himalayan's favourite body part? a Nepal....."

"[electric chair] ""Any requests for your final minutes?"" ""Yeh, I want the last episode of Lost explained."" *acquitted on a technicality"

"What is the only law that Hillary obeys? The law of gravity"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly this dick in your mom's mouth"

"*dad walks up to me stroking his beard* son, where do we keep the dog treats again? Im hun- *beard falls off revealing my dog. he runs away*"

"I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer crash? It had a bad driver! **bows ** I'll show myself out."