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Joke of the Day

"How hard do you think Joe Biden laughs when a senate's bill gets 69 votes? I bet he has to leave the room."

"Success... Is like being pregnant. Everyone congratulates you, but no one knows how many times you got fucked."

"He drove his car into a tree And found out how the Mercedes bends"

"What happens when a muppet gives you a blowjob? A handjob"

"Your mom is like a shotgun. Two cocks and she's ready to blow."

"After growing a beard for two months I decided to shave it off. I must be a man now, because boy did that put hair on my chest!"

"I passed a homeless guy who asked ""Any change!?"" I said ""Nope, your still dirty and homeless"". We laughed and laughed and then he stabbed me"

"Has mankind ever fallen further short of his potential than ""second verse same as the first?"""

"What's the worst thing to say to a hipster? You remind me of someone"

"I once told a guy I was going to attack him with the neck of a guitar... The guy said, ""IS THAT A FRET?"""