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Joke of the Day

"What goes ""Clippity Clop Bang Bang, Clippity Clop Bang Bang""? An Amish drive by shooting"

"Did you hear about the professor that got in a horrible wreck? He was grading papers on a curve."

"What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion? An Accordion. ...I'll, uh, see myself out."

"God... Two goldfish are swimming around their bowl. One asks the other, ""Here - do you believe in God?"" The other one says, ""Of course I do! Who you think changes the water in our bowl?"""

"God: U have to build an ark to save the animals from a tsunami Noah: But you're god, can't you just stop the tsunami God: *loves boats* No"

"Like it or not... That's how Facebook works."

"I have the heart of a lion.. .. and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo."

"There is no ""I"" in the word ""team,"" but I don't think that means anything about team work. That's just how it's spelled."

"What if Forrest Gump's e-mail password? 1Forrest1 ...yeah we all saw that one coming."

"Why couldn't the boarder throw out his collection of potted ferns? They were his best fronds."