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Joke of the Day

"a girl took a grilled cheese out of her purse and threw it across the street like a frisbee to me i never thought i'd be able to love again"

"Due to controversies over child labor in China, Apple has recently had to lay off thousands of people due to loss in sales... They fired the kindergarteners and half the first grade."

"*jumping on a trampoline* What do you mean you want full custody?"

"Quebec lovers Why do Quebecers like to make love doggy style? So they can both watch the hockey game at the same time!"

"I just heard my roommate mixing some beats except I don't have a roommate and it was my cat throwing up."

"Me:Come in. It's not like I'm a serial killer. Him:*laughs nervously* Me: *laughing* u have to murder more than 2 ppl for it to be serial"

"My friend said I'm racist. But I'm not racist, I have one black friend."

"Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your 'Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am."

"Every time I text this guy, he replies with ""Sorry, I'm driving."" It's been a few days. I'm guessing he's probably made it to Mexico by now."

"How do you kill a hipster? Drown him in the Mainstream."