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Joke of the Day

"So they're selling crack in my neighborhood.. FINALLY"

"Anyone ever see Stevie Wonders wife? Neither has he."

"I lost my job at the hospital today for sexual assault.... It's not my fault that they put up a sign that said, 'stroke patients downstairs'."

"What do you call 4 Mexicans trying to cross a river? Quatro-cinco"

"I'd like deadlines more if they were called happy endings."

"I'm not very religious but... I'm praying that next year there will be a Jew who can pardon me of all my crimes!"

"What happened when the joker dropped an elephant carrying a ten ton weight on Batman and Robin? They became flatman and ribbon. /u/realhermit has left the building."

"Did you hear about the man who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink."

"A cute girl with brilliance is the best thing in the world that doesn't have cheese on it Wait couldn't I just put the che Mother of god"

"I lost my dictionary today... I can't find the words to express how I feel."