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Joke of the Day

"50 SHADES OF... Theatre owners have been piping in citrus scent after each showing of 50 Shades of Grey. Because everyone knows citrus is best at eliminating fish odors"

"Whats up? My dick."

"STAR WARS SPOILER! Darth Vader is Luke's father"

"NFL Players + Fireworks ="

"Shoulder Devil: So I say ""Go on--do it!"" And the moron does it! Shoulder Angel: What an idiot! Me: You guys know I can hear you, right?"

"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just Juan."

"One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie. ""Tie me up,"" she purred, ""And you can do anything you want."" So he tied her up and went golfing."

"first day at school?"" Mother: ""Did you enjoy your first day at school?"" Girl: ""First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?"

"Well, well, well... Welcome to stutter class."

"When your wife asks if men think about sex every 7 seconds the correct answer is ""I think of you all the time dear"" & not ""Sex with who?""."