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Joke of the Day

"Fish with no eyes What do you call a fish with no eyes? -A ""FSH"""

"A mime once nearly had me convinced that a wall was actually there... ...but it was just an obstacle illusion."

"The man on TV said if you drink alcohol every day, you're probably an alcoholic. Phew! I only drink every night."

"[approaches parent with child on a leash] ""Mind if I pet your dog?"" Hey that's my son! ""Oh my bad. Mind if I pet your son?"""

"I wonder what will be bigger The video games of the future or the average Tumblr user"

"How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go ride bikes?"

"There's nothing like shaving off your beard to remind everybody why your face needed a beard."

"I'm going to tell you a pizza joke actually never mind it's too cheesy."

"Me: Thanks for the sex. Me: You're welcome. Me: Maybe next time we can have another person in the room. Me: That'd be nice."

"COP: do you know why I pulled you over ME: knock knock COP: who's there ME: do you know why I pulled you over COP: *begins to sweat* n..no"