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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear George R R Martin committed suicide? Yeah. I saw it coming too."

"This creepy guy at work calls me ""hun"" despite knowing my real name so I've started calling him Mulan."

"A pig with a cold is called... pigachu!"

"What's a necrophiliacs favorite drink? Doesn't matter, so long as it's stiff."

"first day at school?"" Mother: ""Did you enjoy your first day at school?"" Girl: ""First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?"

"If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to to stand in front of them!"

"Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to snap them and shake the shit out of them until the light comes on."

"Women these days.....some of their eyebrows looks like they are sponsored by NIKE."

"Erectile Dysfunction Nature's way of saying ""No hard feelings""."

"Apparently the owners of Aldi and Lidl were really brothers. Presumably Aldi was the alder one and Lidl the Lidl one."