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Joke of the Day

"Cop: [knocks] Dinosaur: can I help you? Cop: we've had reports of small arms fire [Flaming T-Rex runs past screaming]"

"""If I write something completely creepy under a girl's Facebook photo, maybe it WON'T be creepy if I end it with 'lol.'"" -guy logic"

"If you can't love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot."

"Penguins are scientist by nature... They always have to improve their slides !"

"I would be morbidly obese if food for thought was an actual thing."

"Your restraining order says ""no"", but the 1/8"" gap between your living room curtains says ""yes""."

"How much did it cost the pirate to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer."

"PERSON: I'm exhausted! ME: Me too! What'd you do? PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You? ME: I talked to like 4 people."

"What's in a divorce fruit salad? alemony"

"Scroll no further, as it only get worse from here..."