119259
Joke of the Day
"Some Days you're the dog and some days the hydrant."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend came home yesterday.... She told me to take off her shirt. I obeyed. Then she told me to take off her skirt, so I said ""OK"". Then she told me to never wear her clothes again"
"Trying to open a Capri Sun is the longest relationship I've had in 2015."
"I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice."
"If online bullying has taught us anything..... It's that people would sooner hang themselves than lose a bit of weight!!"
"What's John Lennon's favorite card game? Yoko Uno"
"Dr: So, how did you dislocate your shoulder? Me: I panicked when the blood pressure machine at the store got tigh- I mean football.."
"Man, those guys in the Cialis commercial sure are charmed by their wives' approximations of human behavior"
"I got into a fight against three people earlier and managed to knock one out... In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best time to masturbate."
"I love how science fiction movies skip right to the fiction part."