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Joke of the Day

"5yo: Daddy, what's a facial? Me: Your brother. 5yo: I don't have a brother!? Me: Exactly!"

"Why are fat people always possessed by the devil? They never exorcise."

"The only time my car goes 0-100 real fast. Is when it's sitting in broad daylight on a summer day."

"What does rappers eat for breakfast? Yo-ghurt."

"I'm just saying, a cartoon character facebook pic isnt going to stop a child abuser! If you see one, call the cops, bam, done."

"You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back."

"Me: Let's try it have a nice weekend without any fighting, ok? Hub: Agreed Me: Wait, where are you going? Hub: Fishing. See you Monday"

"What do you call an egg that cures cancer? A keurig. Joke written by my 9 year old son."

"If I was Jennifer Lawrence, I'd see which laws I could ignore. Start with going behind the counter at Starbucks, work my way up to murder."

"Richard Nixon makes a really awful dinner for his wife. He defends himself by saying ""I am not a cook""."