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Joke of the Day
"Judging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed, I'm assuming it's Monday."
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"Nuts What do you call nuts on the wall? Wallnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chest nuts. Finally, what do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."
"I don't know much about fashion. I assume a leotard is an idiot born between July 23 & August 22."
"My Voodoo doll would be a glazed ham wrapped in chicken feathers."
"How do vampires like their tea? With a old tampon in it."
"How many short term memory loss patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side.."
"What did the one explorer say to the other when they arrived in Northern Canada? Eh, you take this one. I don't want Nunavut. PS: I realize it's a double negative."
"Why does Stevie Wonder smile all the time? No one told him he's black."
"I hope the people that monitor my sleep study tonight like watching a man scratch his taint."
"Yes, It's true eagles can soar... ...but at least weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."