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Joke of the Day

"Say what you want about deaf people"

"If you need me, I'll be in the bathroom I guess it's finally time to shave my legs for spring *Walks away with hedge trimmers"

"Just drove by an Asian restaurant Wok n' Roll well played Chinese people. So crever"

"Vegans think they will live longer than us, but they don't realize they are 100 times more likely to be murdered mid conversation."

"Me: ""Words can't describe how perfect you are."" Her: ""Aww thank you!""... Me: ""But numbers can! 3/10"""

"what did they call the hooker who only slept with vegetarians? a herbiwhore"

"I'm at my quickest when I try to follow someone out of the bathroom so I don't have to touch the handle."

"Why did Turkey disappear? Because Austria was Hungary."

"In Soviet Russia... TV watches you. With much apologies to Yakov Smirnoff (who rarely told them). Please to bring on Russian Reversal jokes in comments."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my foot up your ass."