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Joke of the Day

"What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming."

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"Keep salespeople from pestering you by asking what type of saw can cut through bone and sinew the quickest."
"Why aren't Jewish people into rap? They can't drop dimes"
"I respect strippers because its really hard to dance by yourself and not look stupid."
"*delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* Nurse 1: I'm exhausted. Nurse 2: I hate Labor Day."
"14 years ago tonight, a loaf of frozen reindeer shit fell from the sky & struck my father, killing him instantly."
"I'm kinda scrawny, so I had to quit my job as a personal trainer Yeah, I gave 'em my too weak notice"
"Yo mama so fat.... that when she sits in space-time she causes gravitational waves"
"Well I'm not really sure why you put ""Baby: Ages 0-6"" on your resume, but more importantly, why were you a baby for so long"
"What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle!"