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Joke of the Day

"no actually it's called an ""african-american"" eye, bud. and i got it cause someone beat the crap out of me for being too politically correct"

"Breaking Bad is my favorite documentary about what it takes to be an entrepreneur while balancing family life."

"Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because the parrots eat them all"

"What do you call a fast food joint that caters specifically to muslims? Allahuh Snackbar"

"It's illegal to shine a laser pointer at a plane because a cat might attack the plane"

"I wish I had a job where I could just punch stupid motherfuckers in the face all day."

"Hey, Trivial Pursuit, way to pick a name that says ""This game is pointless."""

"Mozart, Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger are getting ready to throw a Halloween party. Mozart turns to Arnie and asks, ""what's your costume going to be?"" ""I'll be Bach"""

"I think it's sweet that teens text ""U up?"" really late at night to check that their friends are getting to bed at a reasonable hour"

"I just watched Meet the Parents again And if I was Gay I would have been outta there"