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Joke of the Day

"Has anyone here seen the Matthew McConaughey movie where he keeps getting grouchy in the early evenings and no one can figure out why...? Failure to Lunch?"

"The supplement store said they were out of protein powder... 'No Whey!' I said"

"Who is the only person to get 15 Million dollars from a Nigerian prince? Hillary Clinton."

"MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar. Very, very intelligent. Mittens, if you're reading this, please come home......."

"What do you call a crashed Vertibird? ( Fallout 4) An Invertibird."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup Everyone can roast beef"

"Co-worker: My husband & I are praying for a baby. Me: You know that's not how you get 1, right? You gotta have sex. What does HR want now?"

"What do you call a group of hoes in a bathroom? r/showerthoughts"

"Unbelievable! Just checked the roster and I've got to work Christmas Eve from midnight. If it wasn't for all the free wine and altar boys I'd seriously jack-in this 'priest' malarkey."

"went to a temporary tatoo parlor it wouldn't wash off so I went back to complain but the shop was gone."