116161

Joke of the Day

"How Stella Got Her Goat Back #ReplaceAMovieTitleWithGoat"

"I just fell backwards off a stool trying to get the last few crumbs from a Pringles can into my mouth if anyone needs a wife or something."

"Which actor is always criticising churchgoers? Christian Slater."

"If I can, and you can why Clark Kent?"

"Why are boats named after and referred to as women like ""Ain't she magnificent"" Because they're both things you can get in and still complain"

"There's a silver lining for survivors of the Nepal earthquake... They felt the city breaking, And everybody was shaking, But they were stayin' alive. Stayin' alive."

"The Human Body Is 90% Water, So Basically We're Just Cucumbers With Anxiety"" - Science Person"

"Life is like a dick. If it's soft, you can't beat it, but when it's hard, somebody's gonna get fucked."

"If college football created a bowl game called the ""Hyperbole,"" which two teams would be selected to play in it? The two greatest teams in the history of the known universe."

"""will..."" *Starbucks barista squints at name on cup* ""... the Red Slime Shoddy please stand up?"" *Eminem flips table and storms out*"