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Joke of the Day

"[OC] Name something that can be a variety of sizes, but only comes in large. My penis."

"What is the opposite of a protein? An amateur teen ( )"

"What do you call a 7' 2"" fortune teller in his underpants? A large medium in smalls."

"How do blind skydivers know when to pull the cord? ..The leash goes slack"

"Just asked Siri. ""Surely it's not going to rain today?"" She said ""it will, and don't call me Shirley"" ...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode."

"Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke? Because he finally got it!"

"Today I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof I was shocked!"

"WIFE: Having your phone in your jeans pocket will make you infertile & stop us having more kids ME: *shoves 10 phones & microwave in pocket*"

"Why Seth MacFarlane's Oscars were mean spirited and misogynistic, coming up next after our review of the worst dressed women."

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS."