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Joke of the Day

"Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver."

"cost of the ice cream my kid threw a tantrum in the grocery store to get: $5 the look on his face when I ate it for dinner: priceless"

"Pee pressure > peer pressure"

"I was in a band One of our roadies was a German man. There was a Czech one too. Czech 1-2, Czech 1-2"

"This joke is funny only today. Knock, knock. Who's there? Open. Open who? Open SSL."

"Video game are cool because they let you experience fantasies. For example, in the Sims, you have a job and a house"

"My roommate confronted me yesterday... Do you think I'm a nosy bastard? No! Of course not! Then why did you write that in your diary!"

"TIL that soldiers in Vietnam ate small amounts of C4 plastic explosive to get high. No wonder the US defense budget blew up so quickly."

"Why do Italian men grow mustaches? To try to look like their mothers."

"I used to think i was indecisive... but now I'm not so sure"