11531

Joke of the Day

"Kids having the best time ever sound exactly the same as kids being axe-murdered."

"FRIEND: Make sure you walk her to her car [hours later after date] HER: It's been 18 miles ME: I insist HER: But you drove both of us"

"Camping as a couple is stressful... ...it's two in tents."

"My wife and I just celebrated our 5th anniversary. A traditional gift would be something wood. So I gave her some wood. ALL NIGHT LONG."

"An eagle gets sick and is arrested ... because, he is ill-eagle"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy. Jack got a shock, with a mouth full of cock, to find out Jill's real name was Randy."

"What's big, Scottish, and depressing? Scotland."

"If I followed you home, would you keep me?"

"What did the confused bee say ? To bee or not to bee !"

"My wife told me she wants something that goes 0-200.... I told her to go step on the scale!"