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Joke of the Day

"My favorite thing at the Chinese buffet is the chicken balls But man, those must have been awfully big chickens!"

"Who proofread Hitler's speeches? A grammar nazi"

"My goal weight is for it not to look like I'm having a stroke when I yawn."

"I just started reading ""Codependency for dummies"" I can't put it down."

"If our children don't learn cursive, how will they ever be able to read those inspirational tattoos people put on their ribs?"

"*guy getting eaten by a shark* Guy: I just wanted to say I'm Vegan. Shark, spitting him out: Wtf man. I had you in my mouth & everything."

"Where can you find lubricant in the library? In the non-friction section."

"Statistics. Studies show that almost 213% of statistics are inaccurate."

"The milk in my fridge went bad. It beat up my orange juice and started selling meth to all the condiments."

"HER: You look so nervous. ME: *nervously* HA. I'm never nervous. HER: You're sweating. ME: *just freaking out* That's bravery moisture."