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Joke of the Day

"Theres a couple guys at a drinking party.. And they all start an in depth discussion on inkblot drawings"

"Mrs. Claus gave birth on the 24th of December I guess you could say Santa came early this year."

"my shower curtain grabbing my thigh while I was washing my hair is the most action I've gotten in a long time."

"Where do Chicago football fans buy engagement rings? De Beers"

"In World War 3, which country would retreat first? Iran."

"My son just paced back and forth dictating his letter to Santa like a high-powered CEO. Forget Prada, the Devil wears Ironman pyjamas."

"I have a joke about time travel But you got it the first time. (Best told two or three days after making the recently posted ""I have a joke about time travel, but you didn't like it."")"

"[end of a job interview] Interviewer: Any questions? Me: If you could become half robot, would you do it? Him: Me: Him: Which half?"

"DETECTIVE: what do you think killed these two birds? ME: [picking up the only stone near their bodies] idk maybe the bird flu."

"Your mama is so fat ... She broke the stairway to heaven."