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Joke of the Day

"I'm at a second grade music recital and this is by far the most effective form of birth control I've ever tried."

"I once killed an enemy soldier by cutting off his feet. I defeated him."

"Potassium would be the worst element to chat with He (or she) would always reply with ""K""."

"I don't get Trump's hate on Mexicans... ... They'll chant ""You, ese!"" just as well as any other person in this country!"

"""Shrooms before brooms,"" I say to the coven of stereotypical witches who have quite magically appeared in my living room."

"Four men are in a boat trying to smoke some cigarettes, but they don't have a lighter. One man throws a cigarette over board and now the whole boat is a cigarette lighter."

"How to die from falling down stairs: Step 1 Step 2 Step 4 Step 9 Step 22 Step 23"

"Don't walk through a field of mushrooms It's quite a tripping hazard."

"People who try to test my patience don't realize it's an exam I don't plan on passing."

"Why did the Jew prefer to sleep in the dark? Because the lights in his house were contolled by a switch"