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Joke of the Day

"If Pringles really wanted the fun to never stop they'd make those tube things like 5 feet long."

"My wife and I finally finished baby-proofing the house. Let's see that baby try and get in here now."

"A man wanted to join the peeing club He went up to the club owner and asked ""Can I join?"" To which he replied, ""You're in."""

"What does a vulture bring with him on the airplane? His carrion bag."

"I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control I thought to myself ""this changes everything"""

"For my new tattoo, I'm totally getting a chest piece of a chess piece, cause its fun to be a pun."

"What idiot called it removing a curse and not a hexagon?"

"The good thing about having a lot of followers is that for every thousand there's about one who actually reads your tweets."

"Flying around shitting on cars. Rock on, birds. Livin' the dream!"

"COP: Can you describe your attacker? ME: No COP: Didn't you see him? ME: Yes, but I have a poor grasp of adjectives"