114002

Joke of the Day

"In Ancient Days, Newscasters Kept You Updated On The Latest News Happening Flat The World."

"""My girlfriend is 41 years old"" - ""My girlfriend is 41 years old."" - ""Dude, wth?! She can be your mom!!!"" - ""Yes, but she's yours"" - ._."

"Sites that are selling my tweets for money.1. Twitter2. FavStar3. Funny Tweeter <3 you guys!"

"What's the difference between a golf ball and a G spot? A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball."

"Why can't anyone stay angry long with an actress? Because she always makes up."

"Have you heard Neil Diamonds new Christmas song? I can't recall the lyrics but I remember it had a sweet carol line"

"The Golden Globes is how everyone else on twitter gets revenge on sports fans."

"How is a 9 volt battery and a woman's anus similar You know it's wrong, but sooner or later you're going to put your tongue on it"

"I am now on three dating sites because you can never get enough rejection."

"A friend of mine was learning to drive. The problem was he couldn't get the hang of backing the car round corners. His instructor fixed him by using reverse psychology!"